F**king thugs! F**king useless ba**ard! Obviously I’m talking about Bayer Leverkusen and referee Stéphane Bré, respectively. But enough of the pussy-footing around – let me tell it straight. Bayer, in the absence of any quality, or even raison d’être, decided to use that favourite of skill-free and inconsequential teams – thuggery – to stop Saviola and Co. They were aided and abetted most excellently by one of the greatest shows of refereeing inemptitude I’ve seen for ages, which is saying a lot.

Don’t get me wrong – Barça were way below-par, but when thugs like Kleine and Kaluzny get to throw attackers around with no fear of cards, it’s hard to get started.